Amateur surgeon: The Lost Surgeries
by Fanfic-Rick42
Summary: A collection of surgeries from the Amateur Surgeon universe, not for the squeamish... okay maybe a little, but not by much! Please R&R.
1. T-rex tooth removal

It was a fine day in Bleedmore, city of the Amateur surgeon, Alan Probe! The sun was shining, the birds were singing, the museum curator was screaming… wait, what!? OH NO! The museum curator, Artie Fact, had a T-Rex tooth in his pancreas! Suddenly, an ice cream truck with a badly painted red cross zoomed up the steps and crashed through the museum doors. "I hear screaming, what's wrong!" It was Alan Probe! Pizza boy and back-alley amateur surgeon! "Oh thank goodness!" said a random security guard, "my boss has a T-Rex tooth stuck in his pancreas! If he dies, who will sign my paycheck!" Alan stopped him, "slow down, we're running out of time" Alan then thought to himself "I better remove that big bone…the tooth, I mean, It looks like a good souvenir!" The surgeon then took out his 'medical' tools, a pizza cutter, a lighter, salad tongs, a stapler, and some healing gel. The surgeon then used the salad tongs to remove the colossal fossil and stapled the wound it made shut. Afterwards he burned the wound with the lighter and healed it up with the gel. He noticed that Artie's heart rate was continuing to go down, so Alan Probe sliced him open using the pizza cutter as a scalpel and repeating the bone removing and wound healing procedure on his pancreas. "Well that wasn't fun, but I survived!" said the curator, recovering from blood loss, "I really should not have been carrying that with the sharp end pointing into my gut." Alan probe then said, "Well, I'm just glad I could cu- I mean HELP you… I hope you won't be Dino-'sore'! Crickets were heard in the background… followed by biting sounds and screams of pain. "Bug bite Mike must be in trouble again, well, gotta go, he then sped off to the insect section of he museum… in the ambulance… END TRANSMISSION

"HAHAHA, Dino-'sore', HAHAHA" laughed a figure in the shadows, "**ahem,** well, soon Probe, I will have my revenge!

AUTHORS NOTE

The very first Amateur Surgeon fan fiction on this site and probably the Internet,

Well you know the drill, Read and Review, please… for me? (Puppy dog eyes.) Well see you next time!


	2. perforwhatevered gastrosomething

It was a fine day in Bleedmore, city of the Amateur surgeon, Alan Probe! The sun was shining, the birds were singing, the museum curator was screaming… wait, what!? OH NO! The museum curator, Artie Fact, had a T-Rex tooth in his pancreas! Suddenly, an ice cream truck with a badly painted red cross zoomed up the steps and crashed through the museum doors. "I hear screaming, what's wrong!" It was Alan Probe! Pizza boy and back-alley amateur surgeon! "Oh thank goodness!" said a random security guard, "my boss has a T-Rex tooth stuck in his pancreas! If he dies, who will sign my paycheck!" Alan stopped him, "slow down, we're running out of time" Alan then thought to himself "I better remove that big bone…the tooth, I mean, It looks like a good souvenir!" The surgeon then took out his 'medical' tools, a pizza cutter, a lighter, salad tongs, a stapler, and some healing gel. The surgeon then used the salad tongs to remove the colossal fossil and stapled the wound it made shut. Afterwards he burned the wound with the lighter and healed it up with the gel. He noticed that Artie's heart rate was continuing to go down, so Alan Probe sliced him open using the pizza cutter as a scalpel and repeating the bone removing and wound healing procedure on his pancreas. "Well that wasn't fun, but I survived!" said the curator, recovering from blood loss, "I really should not have been carrying that with the sharp end pointing into my gut." Alan probe then said, "Well, I'm just glad I could cu- I mean HELP you… I hope you won't be Dino-'sore'! Crickets were heard in the background… followed by biting sounds and screams of pain. "Bug bite Mike must be in trouble again, well, gotta go, he then sped off to the insect section of he museum… in the ambulance… END TRANSMISSION

"HAHAHA, Dino-'sore', HAHAHA" laughed a figure in the shadows, "**ahem,** well, soon Probe, I will have my revenge!

AUTHORS NOTE

The very first Amateur Surgeon fan fiction on this site and probably the Internet,

Well you know the drill, Read and Review, please… for me? (Puppy dog eyes.) Well see you next time!


End file.
